Haman is my name, hating Jews is my game.
Second to King with my Ring, Cuz I’m about all that fame.
I’m daddy to many, fathered 80 sons,
Ladies love my beard and Check out my guns!
Im popular, people callout my name “Hey Man!”
From the streets I grew into a self made man.
The “OG villain” first name mentioned in Bible,
When Adam sinned G-d asked “Haman Haetz” are you liable?
Alright enough with the shmoozin’ It’s Mordy’s turn,
Who are you Haman? From Me the people will Learn.
You’re a lowlife, my barber, used to cut my hair,
I would sit in ur chair, while I finished my prayer.
You’re just Amelek you’re the lowest part the Heel,
You walk around askin’ people to bow down and kneel?
I will never take a knee, bet a million rupee,
Run and cry to ur king, go on complain and go sing.
Triangle shape on your head, you call that a hat?
Put on a cookie dough sheet & roll it flat.
Like Hamantashin, gonna eat you up,
Filled with jam, poppyseed, chocolate butter cup.
They’re also called “oznei haman,” meaning your ears,
So pointy and big, even the bears have fears.
Do your ears hang low? Do they wobble to fro?
Can you tie them in a knot, or hang them on a Gallow?
O’ Mordecho, you got me Low Blow.
But you really gonna mess with a body part Bro?
Your Jewish Nose, it Grows, down past your Elbows,
How Lows? Who Knows? All the way to your Toes!
And don’t get me started on those raggedy Clothes,
Looks like a Dumpster Dive in a house Foreclose.
I dress top notch, Outshine all the Bros,
Stop hiding your Horns under your Yarmalkos!
I speak seventy languages, but whining ain’t one,
Go look and play with your Stars and Cast Lots for fun.
Through the streets of Shushan you led me screaming marathoner,
“Thus shall be done to the man whom the king wishes to honor!”
Your Daughter Dropped on your head a Garbage can full of Dung,
And then you and your ten sons all got Hung!
Every time they read my Name all the kids Cheer!
They don’t Like you Haman that’s a Booing Jeer!
Makin’ noise with the Groggers to give me Fame,
That’s just to drown you out, so we don’t hear your Name!
I’ve been busy trying to save the King’s Life,
While you been busy trying to get his Wife.
We talking relationships, Mordechai Mister?
At least I didn’t marry my own Sister!
She’s only my first cousin or just maybe my Niece!
You think that makes it any better? Incestual Grease!
Enter King Achashveirosh… Begin!
I’m the King with the Bling, watch me drop the Crown,
While I turn this rap battle Upside Down.
Some people think I’m a Hero, others a Villain,
But you know in my palace, I be just Chillin.
Held a contest for the Girls to be my Queen,
But I stopped when I found one that was Green.
Didn’t know she was a Jewess, didn’t tip my Scale,
Cuz my Ex had Pimples and a really long Tail.
She Refused to come to my Party to Dance,
So I Killed her – Ain’t got no Second Chance.
If you don’t Listen to me, it’s Off with your Head!
If I don’t stick out my Scepter you know you’re Dead.
Haman caught with Queen Esther on your royal King Couch!
Don’t listen to that Jew, he’ll Circumcise you – OUCH!
Give My ring to Mordechai, Haman hang on your Tree,
Now Let’s Party in Persia… like 357 BCE!