Official sequel to The Aveirah Song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1-f9p4kmbg
iTunes link (proceeds to Yeshivas Lev Aryeh) – http://bit.ly/TheChumrahSong
Also available on Google Play, Amazon, etc.
Summer 5773 Lev Aryeh Bein Hazmanim project
Original song and music video by Lev Aryeh bachurim. Filmed on an iPhone.
I’m so frum…
I never shave, not even with a trimmer,
I keep the Three Weeks ah gantzeh zimmer,
I bring a mezuzah wherever I travel,
I tie knots in my tzitzis so it doesn’t unravel,
I am so frum, that everyone is jealous,
I say lashon hara all day, lito’eles,
I switched tuna bagels for cream cheese and lox,
When I see a car on Shabbos, I throw at it rocks,
If a lady is driving I never yield,
When the Rebbe throws apples I play left field,
I don’t learn gemara ‘cuz goyim lived in Bavel,
I cover all my mirrors just in case I’m an avel.
I didn’t look in a thesaurus,
So I have no words to put in the chorus,
I’ll just tell you more ’bout what a tzaddik I am,
All of the mitzvos that I’m mekayem.
When I go to the mikvah I turn off the heater,
I don’t even know who is Derek Jeter,
And when I go to the mikvah, to make sure it cleanses,
I pull out my teeth and take out my lenses,
If my wife boils water that’s not Badatz,
I make her buy a new set of pots,
I don’t put chrein on fish, of any species,
‘Cuz I’m choishesh for bishul, even from kli shlishis,
If I see a sheretz I would never touch him,
‘Cuz when mashiach comes I’ll have to eat kodshim,
Between fish and meat I drink a bottle of bourbon,
I knocked down my whole house, zecher l’churban.
As you can tell, I’m Hassidic,
So I don’t know how to write a lyric,
So I’ll just sing, and you’ll get a rush of,
Respect for me, ‘cuz I’m so chashuv.
I stole a diamond ring from my Tante Bailah,
Just to be mekayem “Vehaishiv es hag’zailah”,
I eat chulent yeder murgen, mitt-tug, un nacht,
I walk in the ga’as with my oigen farmacht,
I teach my kids that ham is mee’yis,
I don’t mish on Paiysach, or Sikkis, or Shvee’is,
Pesach Sheini I use a new set of keilim,
I don’t play chess, ‘cuz the king has a tzeilim,
I don’t eat marror, ‘cuz I’m choishesh for bugs,
When I see my bubby I don’t give her hugs,
My shiur for matzah is fifty k’beitzim,
I sit down everywhere, that’s not a moishav leitzim.
There’s a goy named Boris, but I don’t know him,
So he didn’t write for me a poem,
Instead I got help from a yid named Baruch,
To write my own chelek of Shulchan Aruch.
When my wife buys a sheitel I pour on it bleach,
On the maps in my house I cross out the beach,
I daven shiminessra for at least an hour,
I wear my koppel when I take a shower,
I beat up my kid if he’s not the best in his kittah,
Everything I do, I do it b’shittah,
By Reishis Hagez I give more than reishis,
By Aishes Chayil I don’t say “Aishes”,
In the sukkah I make sure to keep my toes in,
By the Kosel I rip everyone’s hoizen,
L’chumrah, I made all my kids become gayrim,
Every day I put like ten people in cheirim.
I really didn’t write anything for this one,
Yada bada booda, something something…
On my phone I have an anti-Internet app,
And from now on I don’t sing my songs in rap.
More from this series:
- This Chassidish running promo is hilarious!
- The Chumrah Song
- The Aveirah Song
- Things Not To Say On A Shidduch Date – Bloopers
- Oorah Prank Prize Rap
- Chol Hamoed Trip Brainstorming!
- Socially Off Fundraising – Part 1
- Socially Off Fundraising – Part 2 (PLUS BLOOPERS!)
- Eat4Oorah ft. Binyomin Miller
- He Doesn’t Eat this on Pesach
- Ben Miller by performing @Misameach midwinter event
- What Does The Schach Say
- How to Speak to an Off the Derech Kid
- This chassidish running rap is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen!
- Xtreme Eitzos And Chaps ft. Dr. Dreizich
- Hilarious song! Types Of Yidden